So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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