Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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