New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
