I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
