Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
