come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He shit in the fireplace
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
