so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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