but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
