He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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