come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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