I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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