i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
