Do vagina's smell?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We are two peas in an std pod
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
