you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
