I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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