I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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