She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
