There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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