Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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