i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
His nipple licking is glorious
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