I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dignity is for republicans.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
