i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
