theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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