dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
