Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
