She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
