I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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