Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
