I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
