; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize