the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Everything about him screamed your future.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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