help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
