i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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