After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I want to be your penis for a week.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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