We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
