1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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