Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
