Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
