That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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