Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
