I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
