I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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