Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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