My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
