How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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