I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
