Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
