just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
