I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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