3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
